"FAT MARKAGE’S" STAG DO: STAG COMMITTEE MEETING NO.2

 

BLACK BULL, 12th May 2006

 

[actions in red]

[post meeting notes in green]

 

ATTENDEES (in order of arrival)

Punctual

Mark Proctor                 Markage

Iain Mitchell                   Iain

Dave Moore                   Moower Secretary (THIS TIME ONLY)

 

Late

20:12    Andrew Senior Senior*   Seens               *New name post 40

Excuse – Had to escort other half to Adelphi after late beer decision. A decision which took 12 mins

20:25    Dutt

            Excuse – Had to go running. (3miles in 25:36) not clear if hours or mins

20:30    Birchy

Excuse – Giving Birth

 

Apologies

 

Dutt apologise for Moowers’ spelling in advance.

Barlow  - Was reported as Anne Berlin

 

No other apologies were given from the invitees, which was noted as a poower do.

[yes they were, Seens apologised immediately on arrival – Ed]

 

Actions from last meeting

 

  1. Seens to check on Mooower’s movements on 15/3 (not toilet-related thankyou)

-         Complete. Seens reported that Moower went from home to work then back home to bed. Moower added that he felt like death, but survived and unfortunately had to act as secretary for this meeting (see action 7 below).

 

At this point Seens invited the meeting to feel his leg (repairs). Dutt commented on the saved appearance of said leg and asked what style of screw heads had been used.

[“shaved” not “saved” – Ed]

 

Action: Seens to confirm screw style.

http://www.hintsandthings.co.uk/workshop/measuring_fasteners_screws.htm

 

  1. Seens to check connection between ‘Markage’ and ‘Marriage’  - apart from the current obvious one

-         Complete. According to Bill Gates’ spell checker alternatives for Markage are;

o        Mark age

o        Marriage

o        Mirage

-         This was noted as being a bit dull

  1. Markage to compile matrix to get best fit date around late Aug/early Sept. This is also to detail the full attendee list

-         Complete. Date agreed as 26/27 August 2006 which is only a bank holiday for the rest of the world, not BAES Warton and Samlesbury.

  1. Seens to check with Derby residents on good Midlands venues

-         As good as complete. Seens reported that he had asked Derby contacts but had not had any useful replies. Derby does have a curry place, night club and lots of nice buildings.

  1. Iain to investigate BuT (standard things: # curry houses, clubs, travelodges etc)

-        Comlete. Ian reported that according to the knowhere guide  http://www.knowhere.co.uk/4549.html BuT has;

o        A club

o        >140 pubs

o        Brewery trips – Marstons & Bass (a bad combination)

o        Indoor sking

  1. Markage to source best man

-         Complete. Mirage announced that Seens was to be the best man stipulating the following conditions;

o        Best mans speech shall be <2hours

o        Limbs should not be broken

Moower asked if this meant Seens should take over as Secretary. This was thrown out on the basis that possession is nine-tenths of minute writing, or something.

Post Meeting Note: Fleet has two hospitals

http://www.pyrosoft.co.uk/flbid/932/

  1. JC to be secretary at next meeting

-         Ongoing

 

A football debate around PNE and Leeds concluded as follows;

Dirty Leeds.

 

Venuew

 

During a discussion regarding locations it soon became clear that the committee were not in possession of a map. Mark Andrew Proctor reminded the committee that they did, but never the less Birchy volunteered to find cartographic illustration of the country. He returned empty handed, as he couldn’t find a shop.

 

The following was used for geographical reference for the remainder of the meeting.

 

 

Review of locations;

 

BuT - has two Travel Lodge Type hotels well located

Loughborough - is full of good runners

 

21:05

Confirmation that this was a Northern Stag Committee (NSC) was provided when a pigeon lorry (not a truck but possibly a wagon) stopped briefly so that the flat capped driver could exercise his whippet (dog).

 

21:10 - Meeting adjourns for drinks

 

21:11:30 - Seens rings from bar to confirm drinks order

 

21:15 – Meeting reopens

The committee notes the investment of approx £8 for 5 pints (further confirmation of a NSC).

 

Ashby-de-la-Zuch - Sounds like a French, or fast Whittle-le-Woods and has a KP crisp factory. Possible alternative to a brewery trip.

 

Seens tried to describe to Birchy what a good stag venue was using examples a places Birchy may know. Garstang was used as one example since Birchy had never been to Yorkshire (who can blame him, the chips are good but as for the people, dirty Leeds)

 

Iain commented that Garstang was the fair trade capital of Europe. This should not be confused with fur trade or where amusement rides and candy floss machines, or trees, or transport costs could be bought and sold.

 

Hull  - is the shitest town in Britain, but has it’s own non-BT phone system and a bridge (none of which make a good stag venue)

 

Action: Predictably, no decision was made regarding Venue. Therefore a shortlist of places for further research regarding stag qualities by the following was made for review at the next NSC;

 

o        Worcester – Done by Toggle

o        Ashby-DLZ – Birtchy

o        Hinckley – Birchy (has possibility of Myra Hindley theme)

o        Market Harburgh – Birtchy

o        BuT – Iain

o        Ashborne (can also be spelt Ashbourne) - Iain

 

Themes

 

The Theme Preference Table was completed by the committee.

 

[N.B. the graph was made before the additional scribbled voting – Ed]

 

The following shortlist including pros and cons was used to finally make a decision. Non was made but witches looks favourite.

 

Theme

Pros

Cons

Net Ball

Good idea

Head gear – wigs

 

Easy costume

Lacks pulling quote[1]

 

Some mileage in bib letters

 

Stern School Mistress

Good chat up lines[2]

Head gear would make or break the outfit (could loose identity)

Witches

Easy to make

Night club access with brooms

 

Black Pussy

 

 

Stripy socks for stag

 

 

Action: Seens to investigate practicalities of costumes for above

 

Acceptability of Bride

 

There was some banter around cooking and rhyming words. However it was generally acknowledged that the bride was acceptable.

 

AoB

 

Marriage commented on Dutts shinny nails.

 

Next meeting

 

The 26th May 2006 at 20:00 in the Blackbull, Preston was proposed.

 

Action: Mark age to confirm date [Post note – next mtg confirmed for : Thurs 25th May Black Bull – Ed]

 

Meeting closed 22:30



[1] For use by single members of the stag do only. V.dangerous  if used irresponsibly

[2] For use by single members of the stag do only. V.dangerous  if used irresponsibly